Like a wild beast guards my way...Dost thou not in pride and scorn
Fill with tempests all my morn,
And with jealousies and fears
Fill my pleasant nights with tears?
There are various reasons I don't own a cat. One is that my bed does not have a roof.
To a cat, however, it looks like it has a roof, because it looks like it has sides, due to its having curtains where sides would be on the sort of thing that has them. Consequently, when the neighbor's cat comes over, he (or she: I have no idea), being a cat, frequently wants to get onto the nonexistent roof, and to accomplish this jumps from the low chest, to the tall lingerie chest, up the curtains, and then, using the tops of the curtains and his claws, inches his way - precariously and flattened out because there is about an inch of clearance - to the far end, from which he still believes, until he gets there, that he can leap to the top of the armoire.
Since he in fact cannot, he instead just sits there, discomfited and increasingly petulant, until I put on a padded suit, goaltender's mask and gloves and reach to get him down.
A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime. -Mark Twain
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