In any process, the total energy of the universe remains the same.

--First Law of Thermodynamics

Well, I did it again. This morning bright and early I dropped my Blackberry in the toilet at the meal program as soon as I got there. It was, aside from putting on and taking off a pair of earrings that didn't seem quite right, my first significant act of the day.

The twist, however, is that, although I always, always have my phone with me, even on late night Diet Coke and Good-n-Plenty runs, I actually reconsidered it this morning. Who's going to call at that hour? No one. If someone is having an emergency, I am not the person he or she would call, since unless it involves emergently needing a pair of used size-5 heels or the source for a line of poetry or an emergency brunoising of some carrots, I am going to be of no help whatsoever. I don't know how to change your tire, and I simply can't give remote hairstyle advice.

So I thought about it.

Then I thought, If I die between home and the soup kitchen I'm going to need the phone to call someone and let them know I've died. I'm stuck without it; I have to bring it. So I did, and so it ended up in the toilet.