'Your Power Is Turning Our Darkness to Dawn,

So roll on, Columbia, roll on.'

Some things we would never know without Wikipedia. Washington is a fine state in many ways. We have a lot of parks, and a lot of universities, a lot of nonprofits, and everyone gardens and nobody smokes. We lead the country in raspberries and hops, and while we may all suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder nine months out of the year, we are generally courteous.

That being said, we have the lamest, and most inscrutable, state motto. While others speak of valor, liberty, and progress:

-'Live free or die.' (New Hampshire)
-'Liberty and prosperity.' (New Jersey)
-'Union, justice, et confiance.' (Louisiana)
-'By the sword we seek peace, but peace only under liberty.' (in Latin) (Massachusetts)
-'United we stand, divided we fall.' (Kentucky)

Washington takes as its slogan a Chinook expression meaning, 'Sure, when we get around to it, you bet.'

-'Alki,' or 'Eventually, by and by.' It should come as no shock, then, that the world's largest hemp festival is held here; while Mississippi is working out what it is today they are going to accomplish 'By valor and arms' and Nebraska is defending 'Equality before the law,' we're sitting around debating whether we should get extra chèvre or just double chorizo on our Mad Pizza.

And, while I think that orcas, rhododenrons, and apples make perfect sense in their respective categories, I can't imagine how the Square Dance Lobby succeeded in dominating the race for state dance. Moreover, while I love Woody Guthrie beyond all discretion, our state song, 'Roll On, Columbia, Roll On,' a panegyric to electricity and damming, is perhaps more on the level of his 'Ladies' Auxiliary' than of 'This Land Is Your Land' (the full version) or 'The Dying Doctor,' including such lines as:

'Other great rivers add power to you
Yakima, Snake, and the Klickitat, too
Sandy Willamette and Hood River, too,
So roll on, Columbia, roll on.'

-And you can't even square dance to it.